Dear Sister



This is the piece I made for my sister during the digital storytelling workshop. When I showed Mum she cried… select quotes include “This is dynamite!” and “It could tear the family apart!” She said she was worried about the fact that people were identifiable (so I’ve blurred their faces) but she didn’t once address the content. I didn’t really get anywhere in defusing the situation and we finished with Mum saying “Well how did you expect me to react?” I said “I hoped you would be proud… I’m trying to start a positive discussion about it all… to mend some bridges…”

I was terrified about screening it for my sister and it was hard to find a time when the kids weren’t interuppting. I told her about the whole ‘pregnancy quest’ and doco stuff and tried to contextualise Mum’s reaction. Then I showed her everyone else’s piece…
When I finally I showed her mine, she cried… we hugged… she said she was sorry and that she’d had no idea that she’d hurt me. We agreed to ‘find a way to talk to the kids about it…’ That’s the last line in my piece and hopefully the first line in our families ongoing dialogue…

I still feel uncomfortable about being so brutally honest with them in a public space… I wonder how I’d feel if the tables were turned? I’d want the right to respond, but hopefully I’d accept the subjective emotional truth of what was being said. Isn’t that how the healing begins?

Has anyone else experienced stuff like this? How did you/they process it? Does putting it out there - in conversation with friends or in a social context on-line - make it better or worse?

3 Responses to “Dear Sister”

  1. Anon Says:

    That was brillant.

  2. Sue Kentlyn Says:

    Sonja, this is absolutely amazing - it just works in so many ways. It’s honest and confronting without doing the blaming/shaming thing that so often gets in the way of real communication. The images are so powerful, the whole thing’s so creative - you’re a genius!

  3. Deb Says:

    Hi Sonja
    Thanks for creating such an amazing expression. The tempered tolerance that we as individuals and communities are able to demonstrate in the face of painful gut wrenching heterosexism and homophobia continues to amaze me. You have made something beautiful here and it has the potential to simply show the issues in a way that can do nothing less than invite change in the broader community. Thanks Sonja.

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