Family Values

I used to wonder what 2ww meant… but it didn’t take long hanging around blog communities to get it… especially the ones that I’m attracted to.

The average ‘lesbian trying to get pregnant’ blog, charts a fairly typical journey through the angst of finding a donor, the trials and tribulations of ‘fessing up to families-of-origin’… the drama and/or relief when they’re either cool with it or completely over-the-top ‘end of civilisation as we know it’ homophobes. And then of course, the hope and disappointment cycle as one organises inseminations, candles, magical incantations or reckless drunkenness, followed by THE TWO WEEK WAIT.

It’s a great comfort to know I’m not the only one undertaking this peculiar quest.

So, I just got visited by ‘Auntie Flo’ (is that the polite old-fashioned euphemism?) AGAIN!

I was so hopeful this time round… several auspicious indicators - a full moon in Gemini and MUCH more importantly, election fever followed by euphoria… so interesting that a change of government could mean so many things to so many people! At the FEAST Picnic (wrap up of Adelaide Gay and Lesbian Cultural Festival) on post-election Sunday, there was a feeling of such optimism and camaraderie… even as we held our collective breath waiting to see who would have balance of power in the Senate… That night I drove home, precious cargo keeping warm in a jar between my legs, thinking this could be it!

IMAGINE! Being able to say you were conceived at such a historic juncture in Australian history… I remember being heavily pregnant with Rosie, unable to sleep, watching late night TV, channel flicking and wondering what mock-u-drama event was featuring planes flying into tall buildings in the US? Behold how the world has changed!

However, it seems, not ‘meant to be’. No rhyme or reason to it… only try, try again. And endless other cliches. This picture of Rosie, pinned up by my bed, keeps me inspired. Even back then, just shy of 2, she seemed to understand ‘go with the flow’.

In other breaking news... I've optimistically re-newed my membership on 'The Pink Sofa'. However, the fact that I struggle to find the enthusiasm to reply to 'smiles' (let alone send my own) makes me question the authenticity of my desire to re-acquaint myself with love. Would a spark of sexual interest be too much to ask for? How about a puppy-love crush? I must confess… I do have ONE date lined up that I’m trying to not get too excited about… so, like everything else, we’ll see ; )

I seem to have done a lot of waiting and wishing this year… so I’m wondering if the Christmas Fairy might bring me something from my list, in no particular order?

…a bill of good health for my Mum …a baby …true love …production funding for a doco and web-site …amicable co-parenting of the gorgeous child that I already have…

And maybe the only thing that matters? The capacity to find peace in the status quo… the talent of being in the moment… thereby ending ALL waiting including the 2ww once and for all!

This entry was posted on Friday, December 7th, 2007 at 1:42 am and is filed under quest, pregnant? not?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.